Abusive Fathers

The Abused Teen and Child
Signs of Domestic Abuse

It may seem strange not to know if our fathers are abusive fathers. It may seem strange to others that you don’t know, but it’s not strange at all.

When you’ve grown up with abuse and it’s all you’ve ever known, those actions, hurtful words, violence is the norm in your life.

Abusive fathers know how to manipulate an abused teen and child into believing that they are at fault for the abuse, or the abuse never happened, or threatens the child never to speak of the abuse.

Fathers are supposed to love you and care for you; they are to raise you up with love and respect; they are to love you the way God has commanded them, but unfortunately they don’t and they abuse the child instead.

To understand abusive fathers, I have put together some questions that my help you know if your father is abusing you.

Does your father call you stupid, lazy, worthless, or other cruel names?
Does he call you a whore, slut, or other sexually abusive names?
Does he look you up and down, making you feel violated?
Does he control you through violence, hitting things or objects, throwing things?
Are you afraid to tell him something?
Does he tell you that you need to lose weight, wear makeup, wear certain cloths because you are not good enough the way you are?
Do you feel you have to walk on egg shells around him?
Does he touch you in places that make you feel uncomfortable?
Does he use drugs or alcohol? Do the drugs make him worse to you?
Does he put you down, so you have lost your self-esteem, confidence?
Does he embarrass you in front of others; does he tell people things that humiliate you?
Does he compare you to other people making you feel worthless?
Are you blamed for things that are not your fault?
Does he blame you for him abusing you? Does he say that if you didn’t _____ he wouldn’t of _______?
When he mistreats you, does he say you deserve it because ____________, or you provoked him or upset him – making him do it?
Does he threaten you?
Does he grab you, hold you down, keep you from leaving, or block your way?
Does he physically hurt you?
Does he threaten to hurt your friends, family or pets if you don’t do what he says to do?
Does he get angry and violent over small things?
Does he make you do things you don’t want to do?
Does he threaten to kick you out of the house if you don’t do what he says?
Does he make you feel helpless, hopeless, powerless and humiliated?
Does he threaten to withhold money, food, education if you don’t obey him?
Does he threaten to kill you, your family, pets or friends if you don’t obey?
Does he threaten to kill himself if you don’t obey?
Does he say things like: if you loved me you would _____ If you were a good daughter you would _________...

If you experienced any of these situations you are more than likely have an abusive father. And for that I am sorry. You deserve better.

This kind of abuse is not okay ever. If you need to talk about it to someone, please call 1-800-799-SAFE.

It is a safe domestic abuse hotline who can help you through this. They will help you know what to do and how to do it. Just know you are not alone and there is plenty of help.