The Abusive Marriage

Stories of 3 Abused Wives
and Their Controlling Husband

Are you in an abusive marriage or do you know someone who is? It’s hard to know when a woman is in an abusive marriage or with a controlling husband because everything appears to be wonderful on the outside.

You may meet families at church or the park and they appear to be “the perfect family.” Abused wives, their controlling husbands and children are beautiful, well kept, dressed nicely, hair perfect, always smiling, always saying the right things, but behind the four walls of their home their life is completely different.

Let me introduce you to 3 women who are in an abusive marriage:

Meet Lidia.

A lovely woman who loves God she and her husband are very involved in the church. Her husband is actually a respected leader in the church. They are foster parents for 6 children. From the outside they look like the perfect family, Don shows himself lovingly kind towards his family when they are out, but once they return home from church the violence begins.

No matter what Lidia does she can never please her controlling husband.

Everything she does is wrong. She can’t fold the laundry right, there isn’t enough salt on the stew, the groceries are put away wrong.

Although this may seem minor from the outside, Don’s explodes in a violent rage. The children become paralyzed in fear, Lidia tries to make it right but no matter how hard she tries, Don claims she is a worthless whore.

Lidia prays daily, even hourly to be the perfect wife who won’t cause shame to her family. She prays and ask God to teacher her to make the house perfect as her husband wants but she just can’t live up to his standards.

Meet Tammy.

Tammy has four children and a husband who travels for his work. When he is gone, the family recovers from his outbursts, but when he is home the family tip-toes through the house not knowing when he will explode.

Jerry’s anger isn’t violent with fists or guns, his violence is through his constant disdain and vile words for his family. Jerry doesn’t care how much he is hurting them, he will do what it takes to have continual power and control.

Meet Linda.

Linda on the other hand does have a husband who uses fists and guns. Daily he contacts Linda asking who she is with, what she is doing. Each person she is with must talk to him or she has to call him secretly (so the other person doesn’t know)and let him listen to the entire conversation.

Linda is a prisoner to this man. No matter where she goes and what she does, he is watching her. She can’t make calls, work, or even go to the grocery store without him knowing where she is all the time.

Once a week, they get into a fight. During it he puts a gun or knife to her head and threatens her life. He reminds her that he has murdered others and her life means less to him than those he killed.

She is terrified to leave. Her safety and the safety of her children are at a higher risk to leave than it is to stay.

Statistics of Leaving

Statistics show that 75% of women who leave their husbands wind up needing emergency medical care and 25% of women die trying to leave. Other studies show that 50% of women and children who leave an abuser become homeless.

With statistics like this, why would you leave, right? Even those these statistics are gravely high staying is just as serious. Staying can and will lead to serious injuries and even death.

Ready to Leave?

If you are abused and you are ready to get out of an abusive marriage, please take the advice on this website, follow the “leaving an abuser plan” or call 1-800-799-7233 (a domestic violence hotline).

These stories are nothing new, these abusive marriage stories all have one thing in common, they can’t get out. At least they believe they can’t get out. There IS help for every woman who wants to get out. And we can help.