When does the pain stop ?

by Cindy
(Simi Valley, CA )

I just got out of an abusive relationship a week ago. I am in so much pain. He betrayed me, he saw that my disability check could not support the both of us so he started talking to his ex girlfriend. I am so unhappy. He watches every move I make. My phone calls, text messages, calls from my kids. He listens and then starts asking all kinds of questions. He has no friends, and his family won't even talk to him any more.
He has told me over 100 times that he can't even stand to be around his ex. I broke it off because he betrayed me. It was his birthday and because I didn't have the money to take him out, he called his ex. He hasn't worked in over a year and isn't even trying to find employment. He feels that he has to watch me all day cause he claims I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict so he has to watch me. I looked at the the recent usage on our phone bill and saw that he spoke to her for 96 mins. on her lunch break. He's such a liar. He can't stand her, but calls and goes out with her, spends his birthday with her then wants to come back to me. Is this guy sick or what? Needless to stay I told him we were done. I put all of his clothes and belongings outside and tore up all of our pictures together. This guy still thinks it was ok what he did and it was because of my "drug use " that we were having problems. He's gone now, living back with her. She kicked her own son out of the house so this guy could move back in. Very sick situation. This man has been convicted of domestic violence 5 times. He has done jail an prison time and is currently on formal parole for the next 3 years. I have a protective order on me so if he even tried to hurt me, he'll go straight to jail. Why can't I get this off of my mind. Why do I think that if someway, somehow we got back together it would be ok. Distorted thinking. Lord, please help me to know that this is not your plan for my life. I know, trust and believe that you are going to see me thru this. But it hurts, it really, really hurts. Thanking you in advance for your complete healing. I love you Jesus. I pray for other women out there, just believe we have a Savior who is faithful and just waiting to help. I thank God for you Denise, for giving my number to Kelly. God is good and his promises are true. Believe! Have faith and courage and stand strong. God is always with us, he never leaves us. Psalm 23 is so awesome . . . . memorize it !


Cindy